Posts Tagged rant

The Corny Factor 4: R-Rated Movies


REALLY? IS THIS REAL? WHY? *inhale* *exhale* *shudder* I… Feel… Sooooo…. Unclean…. I can’t believe I just watched this trailer! I know the economy is on the fritz, but this is just ridiculous. I haven’t written about corniness in a long time and I think it’s about time I start this one. Like Busta Rhymes said in “Look at Me Now”, “Let’s gooooo”!  I’m sorry for posting that.  It really hurts me more than it hurts you.

Introduction

I like watching the show Deadliest Warrior on Spike TV. However, since I live in Canada and Spike is American, half of the commercials get swapped with Canadian ones so Canadians don’t get confused when they see a fast-food chain called Checkers. There is a single, repetitive, silly and obnoxious movie trailer that plays repeatedly during commercial breaks. It’s intentionally designed this way. These type of movies are usually low-budget and appeals to an incredibly audience of 18-year-olds who are willing to spend cash to sit in a theater for a couple of hours to watch random shenanigans. These movies are sometimes referred as “teen movies” because of their young demographic.

Every commercial break as of this post advertises Bucky Larson and it makes me question who Deadliest Warrior’s target audience is. They’re trying really hard to squeeze every laugh at the lowest budget. With shows like “1000 ways to die” with it’s twisted “artistic license” makes me think of how Spike TV is trying to get more viewers. However, that’s another story entirely.

Back in the day

Of course, I remember being a much younger person and I used to watch many R-Rated movies that boasted similar mature content. Some examples include American Pie, The Girl Next Door* and Dorm Daze. Initially, they were branded as romantic comedies and the mature content wasn’t implied until this trend became more popular. I admit it; there was a time when I intentionally scoped out the R-rated movies for the sake of eye candy.

The business model

It’s all about the opening weekend and how much money can be made in that time; it’s Friday, the weekend is about to begin and most people will not be at work or school. They want to get as many people in the movie theaters as possible. In general, R-rated movies require that the audience must be at least 18 years old. Anyone younger must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. Sometimes, the theater employees don’t bother to ask for ID. Unfortunately, I happen to be in the category that frequently gets asked for ID, especially for alcohol, but that’s another story. Anyways, they count their profits in the opening weekends in hopes that it surpasses their budget for the movie. This will determine if a sequel should be made for the theater, direct-to-disc or should be scrapped entirely.

After the movie has been in the theater long enough, and profits start lowering to a certain point, the movie is turned into DVD/Blu-Ray/Digital Download and anyone can buy or rent the movie. The movie now has another opportunity to make more profit. Now there are new ads for the same movie to rent or buy the movie.

What kind of “mature” content?

It can vary. For this article, content such as violence, gore and hate speech are not included here. The mature content in the R-rated romantic comedies include swearing, sexual innuendos, nudity, softcore sex scenes and crude humor.  To a younger person, this content feels rebellious and new.  There’s plenty of eye-candy and things to laugh at.

It’s profitable! They don’t care!

I know it sounds crude. With the combination of marketing, budgeting, writing, mixing cliches and pumping ads, it’s profitable. Sometimes they’ll lose more money than they put in. In general, they continue doing this because it makes money. Keeping the budget low saves costs for marketing and if the movies does not do well, the producers will not be crippled.

Conclusion

I remember when Spike TV used to show Star Trek, Oblivious and even new episodes or Ren & Stimpy. Their slogan was “The first network for men” and it seemed like they meant it! I am aware of the direction they are going with their new style and shows. If they’re making more profit this way, then good for them. I’m starting to have mixed feelings towards Deadliest Warrior; I like watching the statistics and how they explain the history and weapons. It seems like they over-simplify the stats and drag things on to make up the time. Do I really want to watch 5 people fight each other? All the really need to do is just show the two people fighting to the death and that’s it! I know they use 5-squad members, but when they’re testing leaders, it’s a waste of time. Spike made many sacrifices to get to where it is now.

The R-rated movies are a trend that probably won’t end anytime soon. It’s a profitable market and I am obviously out of the demographic. Eye candy will always grab attention and it’s just something that people take advantage of to make money. The positive side of this is that people outgrow this and will eventually move on to different genres.

* I’m aware that The Girl Next Door was rated PG-13 in Canada, which raised plenty of controversy because it was still rated R in USA.

More Corn

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Random Absurdity

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what I want in a relationship.  What if I told you if you told me to be “honest, true, straight-to-the-point and not hold back on the answer and I’ll still respect you” about this and I’d tell you?  I’m not saying that I have any controversial to say or anything like that.

Are my intentions really questionable?  My point is, it’s not exactly a secret, is it?  I haven’t seen any statistics about this stuff and I think we could come up with some kind of answer that satisfies both sides.  I guess some would blame the media, but if I’m not alone then it’s okay to believe the things that I believe, right?  I’m not trying to rob a bank or anything like that?

I’ve been thinking about how much time I spend listening to people talk version the other way around.  I don’t mind being quiet or deadpan.  Is there honor in acting a certain way and never being remembered for what I’ve done?  I could do or say something really silly, I get laughed at and people will forget about me if a moment.  I mean, if people remember most of the crazy things I’ve done, I’d have an entirely different impression on people.

How many meetings have I been to where I have nothing to say and the topic usually has nothing to do with me?  I’ll tell you a story about it.  I actually fell asleep in a meeting and I was caught; I sat on my chair with my arms on the armrests.  I sat up as straight as I could and I slowly shut my eyes.  It was an awesome moment.  I was about to fly into Dream Land.  My boss woke me up and people chuckled at me.  The next morning, my boss spoke to me and told me that it’s important for me to stay awake and continue to make a good impression.  He gave me a story about when he was in university, he was a class with hundreds of people and the teacher woke him up and shouted “YOU! WAKE UP!”.  I mentioned that the meeting really had nothing to do with me and it was longer than its scheduled time.  He agreed that meetings are boring and said that he’d keep me out of meetings in the future.  There were some benefits.  For one thing, I had time to do more work and I was more available.

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